The Courage to Begin: How One Month in the Philippines Changed the Way I See Teaching, Learning, and Myself.

When I first saw the announcement for the SEA Teacher Project Batch 11 in my department's WhatsApp group, excitement was not the first emotion I felt. Instead, I was overwhelmed by doubt. I knew that this was a prestigious international exchange program, and I imagined that the applicants would be students with outstanding English proficiency, impressive academic records, international experience, and achievements that seemed far beyond my own. For a moment, I questioned whether I truly belonged among them. Yet deep inside, another voice reminded me that opportunities like this do not come very often. I realized that failure would never hurt as much as the regret of never trying. That simple thought became the reason I submitted my application, even though fear accompanied every step of the process.

The days leading to the interview were filled with preparation and uncertainty. I spent hours anticipating possible questions, organizing my thoughts in English, practicing my answers repeatedly, and reminding myself to stay calm. The night before the interview, sleep hardly came. My mind kept replaying different scenarios, wondering whether I would be able to express myself clearly. When I finally entered the interview room and sat in front of the professors, my heart was racing. My hands felt cold, and for a brief moment, my mind went completely blank. Before saying anything, I silently prayed, asking Allah to guide my words and give me confidence. I answered every question with sincerity, knowing that I might not be the most fluent candidate in the room, but hoping that my determination, humility, and genuine passion for education would speak louder than my imperfections.

A few days later, while I was making donuts with my classmates for one of our university assignments, my phone suddenly buzzed. A message from my friend appeared on the screen: "Rin, we made it!" Seconds later, another message arrived from my lecturer informing me that I had officially been selected to represent the University of Bengkulu at the University of Santo Tomas (UST), Philippines, through the SEA Teacher Project organized by SEAMEO. I could hardly believe what I was reading. My eyes filled with tears, my knees felt weak, and I could only whisper words of gratitude. At that moment, I realized that courage does not always eliminate fear; sometimes, courage simply means moving forward despite it.

-My Lecturer's Message-

The weeks before departure became another unforgettable chapter. I applied for my very first passport, completed countless administrative requirements, prepared teaching materials, improved my English, attended orientation sessions, and spent precious moments with my family before leaving home. Looking back, I realize that this exchange program was filled with countless "firsts." It was my first passport, my first international flight, my first time leaving Indonesia, my first experience living away from my parents, my first time sharing a dormitory with students from different countries, my first time representing my university on an international stage, and most importantly, my first opportunity to teach international students. Those "firsts" were not merely new experiences, they became milestones that slowly transformed my perspective and strengthened my confidence.

I still remember how nervous I felt as I stepped onto an airplane for the very first time. Everything fascinated me the cool air inside the cabin, the warm smiles of the flight attendants, the unfamiliar sounds of the aircraft, and the breathtaking view from the window as we flew above the clouds. Even the long layovers, heavy luggage, unexpected baggage fees, and moments of confusion while navigating unfamiliar airports eventually became stories that my friend Kafka and I now laugh about together. When our plane finally descended toward Manila at sunrise, I watched the golden light illuminate the city below and quietly told myself, "I really made it." 

-Jakarta to Manila-

Arriving at the University of Santo Tomas felt almost surreal. The magnificent historic buildings, peaceful green spaces, and vibrant academic atmosphere looked exactly like the photos I had admired online, yet seeing them in person was an entirely different experience. During the opening ceremony, I met fellow delegates from Indonesia, Vietnam, and Thailand, as well as our supportive buddies, lecturers, and mentor teachers. Although we came from different backgrounds, cultures, and languages, we quickly discovered that kindness, curiosity, and laughter required no translation. Throughout the following weeks, we explored museums, visited historical landmarks around Manila, attended Tagalog language classes, rode jeepneys, shared meals, exchanged stories about our countries, and created friendships that crossed national borders. These cultural experiences taught me that international exchange is not simply about traveling abroad; it is about learning to appreciate diversity while discovering how much we all have in common.

-University of Santo Tomas-

As a future mathematics teacher, the classroom became the place where I learned the most. Observing classes at UST opened my eyes to a learning environment that encouraged students to ask questions confidently, think critically, and participate actively. The classrooms were equipped with excellent facilities, but what impressed me even more was the learning culture. Students were not afraid to express their opinions, and teachers created spaces where every question was valued. Witnessing this inspired me to reflect on the kind of educator I hope to become. More than bringing home innovative teaching strategies, I wanted to bring back a classroom culture that nurtures confidence, curiosity, and meaningful learning.

Class Observation - SHS

 

Without question, the most unforgettable experience of my entire journey was my Final Demo Teaching. The day before my lesson, while many of my friends were exploring Manila, I chose to remain in my dormitory. It was not an easy decision, but I knew that the next day would be one of the most important moments of my academic journey. From morning until late at night, I devoted every hour to perfecting my lesson plan, designing my PowerPoint presentation, reviewing mathematical concepts, watching teaching videos, and practicing how I would explain every topic clearly. I became so focused that I even forgot to eat. Around two o'clock in the morning, I was still rehearsing my lesson before finally falling asleep with my laptop resting on my lap.

-Nov 18, 2025-

The next morning, despite sleeping only a few hours, I woke up before dawn to pray. I asked Allah for calmness, confidence, and clarity in my speech. As I walked toward the classroom, I kept repeating a prayer asking God to ease my task and help my words be understood. Even after arriving at school, my nervousness did not disappear. My hands trembled, my heart pounded, and my legs refused to stay still. Yet my mentor teacher, Ma'am Therrese, and my buddy, Jason, greeted me warmly and encouraged me with sincere smiles. Their trust became the confidence I was struggling to find within myself.

When I finally stood before forty international students and introduced myself, something unexpected happened. Little by little, my fear disappeared. The classroom no longer felt intimidating, it felt like home. We discussed the Distance Formula through relatable examples, solved problems together, laughed, asked questions, and learned from one another. The students participated enthusiastically, and every question they asked became an opportunity for me to grow, not something to fear. At the end of the lesson, I realized that an entire hour had passed without me noticing. The anxiety that had consumed me for days had quietly transformed into joy.

-Final Demo Teaching. Nov 19, 2025-

 

The encouragement I received afterward became one of the greatest gifts of this journey. My mentor praised the organization of my lesson, the clarity of my explanations, and even told me, "You're so good in teaching." Jason congratulated me with genuine excitement, while teachers and friends continued offering kind words that I will never forget. Their appreciation meant more than compliments; it reminded me that every sleepless night, every prayer, and every sacrifice had been worthwhile. More importantly, it helped me realize that I was far more capable than I had ever believed.

As the program came to an end, saying goodbye became far more difficult than I had expected. The closing ceremony was filled with heartfelt speeches, cultural performances, warm hugs, handwritten letters, exchanged gifts, and promises to meet again someday. Watching friends return to their home countries, walking through the UST campus one last time, and leaving the dormitory where countless memories had been created filled my heart with gratitude and sadness at the same time. I understood then that the most valuable souvenirs were never the chocolates, keychains, or photographs I packed into my suitcase. They were the friendships I built, the confidence I gained, and the lessons that would remain with me long after the journey ended.

A Collection of Moments I'll Never Forget 

Looking back today, I realize that I did not return to Indonesia as the same person who had left a month earlier. I came to the Philippines believing that I would teach mathematics, but I returned home realizing that I had learned the greatest lesson instead. I learned that growth begins the moment we choose courage over comfort. I learned that meaningful education is built upon empathy, respect, and genuine human connection. Most importantly, I learned to believe in myself. As I continue my journey toward becoming an educator, I hope to bring home not only new teaching methods but also the spirit of creating classrooms where every student feels seen, heard, and encouraged to believe in their own potential. Sometimes, the greatest exchange is not between countries—it is between the person we were before the journey and the person we become because of it. 

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Thank You for Reading

This blog is more than just a record of my journey. It is a collection of moments that shaped me: the fears I faced, the people who believed in me, the lessons I learned, and the memories that will stay with me for a lifetime. Looking back, I realize that the SEA Teacher Programme was never only about teaching abroad. It was about growing beyond my comfort zone, embracing different cultures, building meaningful friendships, and discovering a stronger version of myself.

I sincerely hope that this story can inspire anyone who is hesitant to take the first step toward their dreams. Sometimes, the opportunities that change our lives begin with a simple decision to try. You may feel unprepared, uncertain, or afraid but growth often starts exactly there.

Thank you once again for spending your time reading my story. Your presence here means more than you know, and I truly hope this journey leaves a small piece of courage and inspiration with you, just as the Philippines left an unforgettable mark on my heart.

If you'd like to stay connected, feel free to reach out!

📷 Instagram: @hrin.anh
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/herin-azizah

Until we meet again in another story.

With gratitude,
Herin Azizah.